A reply oh fun

Dear NUTTY OPA TYNE    I decided to give the full name this time

 Thank you, for contacting our claim office here in Johannesburg South Africa, your winning details, have been updated in our database, and the administrative board have given a green light to start the process of your claim, sounds good so far  please note that this process takes 10 working days to be completed, failure to adhere to this terms and conditions to claim your prize money, will result to a permanent suspension of your prize fund.  oh dear I may not get any money

NOTE: You don’t have to pay to claim your fund but you must have an account here in south Africa where your fund will be lodge in first before onward transfer to your personal account in your country and if you are not having an account with any bank in south Africa here and you cannot come down to south Africa to claim your fund then you have to send a letter requesting us to assist you by sating up a none residential account in your name. Once that is done the bank will surely transfer your founds within 48hours your fund will surely reflect in your account in any country of your choice.
I'm not likely to have a bank account in South Africa

Why it’s so the governments are using the system to elevate the poverty here in South Africa they want to make poverty worse!! and one anyone not living within the country must have and account here or come down in person. Oh I will come in person 

This condition is prepared so that the board will be able to supervise your fund until its get into your account in your country.

Please find below the Terms & Conditions to Claim:

 1. All winners residing outside of the Republic of Southern Africa must be present at our claim office within 10days to claim any prize, all relevant immigration procedures must be followed before arriving in the Republic. Ok I can do this

2. Beneficiaries who are unable to be present at our claiming office in person, are required to apply for an instant access account through your claim agent, I suppose they want their share  this account enables the Lottery Dept, wire transfer your prize fund to your designated account, of which you are not warranted to be present

This condition is prepared so that the board will be able to supervise your fund until its get into your account in your country.
All the necessary documents will be forwarded to you in due time such as Insurance certificate, Payment approval certificate etc

Thanks in anticipation

Sincerely,
MR. MAKE ANNER
 Head Winning Claims Dept  I do not want to win a head 
South African National Lottery Organization/ Microsoft


I have replied thus 


Dear MR. MAKE ANNER

I do not have a bank account in either South Africa or Scotland

I cannot get an account in Scotland due to being bankrupt so I do not think it would be possible to get one in South Africa either. Even if I did get one in South Africa then I would have no way to transfer the money.

Could I suggest that you send me the airfare to South Africa, to the address you have on file and I will reimburse you the money when I receive my winnings

Sincerely,

N.O.T. FALLINGFORTHIS